Healing and Reflections

August 21, 2010


It’s been over 3 months since my surgery. I don’t regret it for a second. I feel great. Physically, I feel exactly the same as I did before I went in. My stomach doesn’t look the same, and there is actually still a tiny bit of tenderness and swelling on the missing kidney side of the incision from drainage issues.

My recovery was a little slower than most, from what I hear. After about 5 days of being home, I was able to get back to a normal sleep schedule. Actually I wake up earlier since then. Within a week I could get out of bed myself; getting in was easier. I had to do a lot of walking, and at first I was very slow. I think I was afraid of over-doing it. Sometimes the anxiety was a bit difficult. It took me a good two weeks after the hospital to put down the kidney pillow. It was such a security thing for me. I freaked out a little without it. It took me even longer to finally be able to stand straight again, maybe three weeks after coming home. That caused a good deal of pain in my back, shoulders, and neck. I think it was partly psychological; it felt safer to hunch a bit, to protect my wound. I remember wondering at one point if I would ever feel normal again and be able to lift heavy things or run. Laughing hurt a lot; sneezing was terrifying, and I refused to cough for about a month. But everything came back. I was driving within ten days of being home.

The pain at home was not bad. I used half of a half of a Loratab twice the first week, and Tylenol or Tylenol PM for about 2 weeks in the evening or if I did a lot of walking that day.

On the Sunday following my Tuesday release (Day 14?), my wound started leaking from one spot. I called the doctors about it and went in for a checkup. They said there was a pocket of fluid that had formed under my skin and that the drainage was better out than in. The color of the fluid was bothersome and changed from yellow, brown, red, orange, and pink. One day was even a little greenish. I went through a few bandages per day, with varying amounts of fluid, usually dependent on my activity. But there was no bad smell or fever, which were the warning signs the doctors told me to look for. The drainage continued longer than expected and I saw the surgeon again just to make sure things were ok. About 3 weeks later, the drainage just stopped. But I think there is still fluid there because it’s a little swollen and tender in that one area.

Within six weeks, I felt fine, good enough to run again, and do laundry. I don’t feel any different physically.

My belly button looks gross. Not quite like a belly button because of the way they put me back together. The doctors also told me afterward that I might never be able to get my tone back fully, that there might always be a little “pouch”. That was disturbing, and I would like to have been warned about that, though it wouldn’t have changed my mind.

The biggest lifestyle change for me is that I have to drink a lot of water and, as a result, pee a lot more. I feel dehydrated more easily if I don’t drink my 2 ½ liters per day (which may not seem like much, but I definitely was not drinking enough fluids beforehand.)

I guess one personal thing that I would mention about the emotional outcome would be that while this is definitely a good thing to do, and for me the right thing to do, it does not make you into a better person or validate some desire to be a good person. I feel satisfaction in that I was able to be a part of giving someone life. I feel stronger for having gone through it and making tough decisions, but I do not feel like I am better than someone who would not donate their kidney.

Our case was very risky. The doctor said it was the hardest surgery he ever had to do and that had he known I had three arteries, he would not have done the surgery at all. It seemed like he tried to talk me out of it the whole time, the whole year plus, which was the longest case at the hospital. They wanted to be sure I was ready for a good or bad outcome. I’m still not sure I was prepared for a bad outcome. The risk was frightening; I guess it wouldn’t be a risk otherwise, but in our case, it all worked together for good. I don’t say this to promote taking the risk, but to let you know that even when things seem impossible or doctors tell you it’s impossible, there is hope.

To anyone considering donating a kidney, I would say consider it carefully. Do your research. Weigh your options. If it doesn’t scare you away and you are physically and emotionally capable, then do it! It’s a little bit of pain and discomfort that can really make a huge impact on someone’s life and the lives of those who love them.

National Kidney Foundation
National Kidney Disease Education Program